One evening a grandfather was teaching his young grandson about the internal battle that each person faces. “There are two wolves struggling inside each of us,” the old man said.
“One wolf is vengefulness, anger, resentment, self-pity, fear . . . The other wolf is compassion, faithfulness, hope, truth, love . . .”
The grandson sat, thinking, then asked: “Which wolf wins, Grandfather?”
His grandfather replied, “The one you feed.”

This blog is about the constant struggle. Mostly about mine, but then all the major themes running through my life are universal to everyone else. If my experiences are able to help even one single person find their way through the labyrinth of life, then I am better equipped to stand in the face of any adversity and say, "Bring it. BRING IT! And pack a lunch." Its not about me at that point. And for me, that is the point, the whole point, and nothing but the point.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Its there. And here, too.

Funny how the heralding of the miracles is often the uttering of the word "shit." Shit! As in, "Shit! I can't believe that has been charging my account these past five months! Damn it! Fuckers!"

That is what I said last week, when I discovered exactly that. I could have sworn that I indicated to them not to re-bill. So I contacted them, and they offered me one month's refund. I made a little more noise, and they graciously refunded the past five months, a total of $200.

Now you have to know that at the time I was incensed. How dare they, right?

But what was quickly revealed to me was the miracle that situation turned out to be. Getting laid off only a few days later, I realized that had been a godsend; I needed that $200 now more than ever; obviously if I didn't notice it being removed from my account, it hadn't hurt me much. It was like money in the bank. Thank you,, and thank you, God, for the funny way you do things. Or, like they say, "God works in mysterious ways." I've heard that 27,000 times in my life, but never has it been more clear.

That is one of the reasons for this blog. My life is such an epic adventure; the bad stuff makes room for the good, the good is awesome, and woven together it is a rich tapestry of a well loved and very blessed life. Even if I did lose my job and don't have any money, somehow it always works, and usually in ways I never could have predicted. I think its important to not only document the miracles and serendipitous adventures, but to bear witness to the infallibility of the Creator when we step back and let life unfold. Don't get it twisted; I do not have a Judeo Christian sort of Creator/ Higher Power in mind; for me, the God of my understanding is, well, one that I don't understand. If I understood God, then I wouldn't be in complete awe when watching The Mystery manifest in the physical realm. But also understand that I do not deny anyone's religious beliefs, because I know that there are many ways to skin a cat.

This blog will allow me to bear witness to the wonders, miracles, challenges, solutions of my life. To the process of ongoing recovery and growth, of spiritual rambunctiousness and outrageous compassion, of discovering even deeper levels of joy and delight. If its there for me, its there for you. Its THERE. And here. Its right where you are standing; any ground that is beneath your feet is holy ground, by virtue of your standing on it.

"The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper." B. Russell

There is also the ongoing theme of the Good Wolf and the Bad Wolf, which I intend to explore further. If you think about it, this motif, the good and the bad and the struggle between the two for dominance is THE MAIN THEME in almost all mythology, movies, stories, world religions, songs, conversations, and is at the root of all our decision making and choices. The Good Wolf/ Bad Wolf story encapsulates the whole story of being human in one short, elegant paragraph. And I will continue to investigate and report from the front lines of my life.

No comments: